The song that the television show on Fox® TV called American Idol® now uses Home Sweet Home, whose original MOTLEY CRUE version will be broken down tomorrow, as sung by for Idol CARRIE UNDERWOOD

Meanspeed-Carlton Summary

Performer=Carrie Underwood

Original Performer=Mötley Crüe

Genre=*power metal* ballad

Mean speed/ Average tempo=73.0 beats per minute

Predicted emotional expression according to meanspeed® music theory= 73 bpm=grace/control/poise/beauty/kindness/mercy

On the Meanspeed Scale, or Neumann Tempo Scale as it has become known, the song is so: American Idol!  The last three Idols, Hicks and Cook and Sparks won their respective finals with songs in this speed range.  Grace, pose, equanimity, composure, mercy, confidence has YET to give into the Meanspeed® of music in general, sr60*10 beats per minute.  The feeling is one of bold serene yet keenly aware tranquility.  perfect, calm focus.  At the Meanspeed, all the languid whoa-is-me-as-I-get-old themes arise, then, at the deadly 79-84 bpm, one is surprised to find one song in 5 where the performer is saying by speed, unconsciously, “I am a disgraceful person of solitude whose best days are well behind me.”  Hey, takes one to know one.  What else – as the song Bad Day, now property of the National Football League (gee, I wonder how that happened), a song that sounds happy and what people vaguely refer to as “up-tempo” is only 70 bpm.  The message, probably unconscious but since I know no one involved in the show I do not know: walk off with your chin up.  You came in #5 out of 100s of thousands!

Here is some example-itude.  First, songs near 73 beats per minute:

“Time Is On My Side” – Rolling Stones – 72.7 beats per minute (bpm)

“The Weight” – The Band – 72.7 beats per minute

“Uncle Albert” – Sir Paul McCartney – 72.9 bpm

“It Was A Very Good Year” – Francis Sinatra, The Chairman of The Rat Pack Board of Directors – 73.0 bpm

“Love Needs A Heart” – Jackson Browne – Running On Empty, – 73.0 bpm

“Sunshine On My Shoulders” (Make Me High) – John Denver -73.0 bpm

“Tiny Dancer” – Elton John – 73.0 bpm

“Where The Boys Are” – Connie Francis – 73.0 bpm

“(I Love You) For Sentimental Reasons” – Nat “King” Cole – 73.1 -bpm

“By My Side” – Godspell (*original* Broadway cast) – 73.2 bpm

“Hotel California” – Eagles – 73.2 bpm

“Love Will Lead You Back” – Taylor Dayne – 73.2 bpm

“Put Your Head On My Shoulder” – Paul Anka – 73.2 bpm

“Glory Of Love” – Otis Redding – 73.3 bpm

“I’ll Remember You” – Bob Dylan -73.3 bpm

“Lady Of The Harbor” – David Crosby – 73.3 bpm

“I Let Time Go Lightly” – Harry Chapin – Greatest Stories Live -73.4 bpm

“This Land Is Your Land” – Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band – Live 1975-195 – 73.4 bpm

“(You Were) Always On My Mind” – Willie Nelson – 73.4 bpm

[redacted per Rule 420]

/Ian Andrew Schneider/

Meanspeed® Music School

May 4, 2009

Meanspeed Company Notes on Apple® and Microsoft® -

Where the Neumann Scale, simplified on a computer on which I have not been working for a couple of months.  Oh – why not?  I have a better mac®, specifically a MacBook rather than the g4 on which I’m typing.  Why do that?  Because in their desire to release a terrible product on purpose only to fix it later, microsoft’s excel 2008, a true piece of garbage, stuck to my other computer through the magic of microsoft’s boy genius turned greedy old man.  Thing is, as many of you know, if I could actually trade in the preposterously stupid 2008 program for not even a new 2004 version, just my own back, that would be cause for celebration.  Microsoft greedy bastards: enjoy your ill-gotten “gains” now, because no one will ever hire you later on.  And I’m not going to preach – but if I did, I’d go on about how the best companies in the world DO NOT TOUCH EXCEL 2008.  It’s a piece of [expletive].  My mac has not “ENOUGH MEMORY” for it.  Look Gates, I have two people working here.  If my mathematical calculations, none of which a 7^th grade student could not get, have so filled up you Excel 2008, because, ya, like, put 1,000,000,000 options in same which are of course absolutely unnecessary: worse, dude.  They are there to make one clamor for the old 2004 back with Steve “Greed Didn’t Quicken My [redacted]” Jobs’ (no pun intended) new ultra-greedy whatever I would have to by in regard to hardware to get that nonsense to work.Example: Where as far as I remember Excel 2003 one could set up hundreds of columns of data, one of the main reasons that [every company internationally that uses excel] uses, well, Excel 2003, now the limit is the miserably paltry Google Docs/Apple Numbers/baby software limit of 60 (SIXTY). Microsoft Customer Service – what about them!?  That was a joke.  So Back on this G4 held there by some duct tape yet holding the almighty 2004, here is the song HOME SWEET HOME: Carrie Underwood version.